I was born with cerebral palsy, a disability that affects my speech and physical coordination.  It impacts every facet of my life, from how I brush my teeth in the morning to how I untie my shoes at night.  I don�t like having cerebral palsy; I never have, and I never will.

I have lost count of the number of times that I have implored God to heal me of this life-long affliction.  Whether with the help of a local pastor, a nationally known faith-healer, or personal friends, I have pleaded with God to give me a life without a physical disability.  Yet, no matter how many times I have begged God for a healthy body, my prayers have gone unanswered.

I have heard all the usual answers.  All I need to do is trust God or to have a little more faith.  Perhaps if I try praying a bit harder, that would help.  Well, I have trusted God, I do have faith, and I do pray, but I still have cerebral palsy.

My theology teaches me that Jesus Christ died on the cross to atone for my sins.  I believe that with all of my heart.  Yet, I fear that many church-going Christians have twisted that theological truth to the point of believing that Jesus Christ died on the cross to atone for their sins so that they can now live a life of ease, void of all suffering or pain. Although that sounds almost true, I have found that it is simply not the gospel.

As I often tell audiences when I speak to churches and other Christian groups, God is not a vending machine.  We don't get to put in a dollar and punch a button to pop out the perfect spouse, or the ideal job, or a spacious home.  There are also no buttons that we can push to take away our problems�to instantly smooth over marital difficulties, eliminate job stress, make our kids behave better, or get rid of cerebral palsy.  I am so grateful that Jesus Christ died to make things right between God and me.  But to believe that his sacrifice leads to anything other than my reconciliation with God is to make a mockery of the cross.

Why are some prayers answered while others are not?  Why are some people healed while others go through prolonged periods of suffering?  I don�t know.  I do not have the answer to those questions.  But there is one thing that I do know.  Jesus Christ died so that my sins might be forgiven, not so that I might be healed of cerebral palsy.

There are two things that I can count on with God.  First, God has promised that there is a day coming when he will wipe away every tear from my eyes.  And as a man with cerebral palsy, that gives me a tremendous amount of hope, because it means that one day I will be with him, jumping around, singing, and shouting �Hallelujah��and there will be no more disability.  Unfortunately, as much as I anticipate being with Christ, that day hasn�t arrived yet.

God�s second promise to me is that no matter where I go or what I do, he will always be with me.  I never have to worry about God going away.  It won�t happen.  He will never leave me nor forsake me.[1]  And again as a man with cerebral palsy, that gives me a tremendous amount of hope, for it means that, although God may or may not take away my disability, he will always be with me, cerebral palsy and all.

Some may complain that these two promises are not enough, that what they want is for God to fix life�s problems.  Although it would be nice to be healed of cerebral palsy and to have God run interference for me with any other problems that fall my way, for me to place my hope on anything other than Jesus Christ crucified is a big mistake.

Jesus was upfront with those who wanted to follow him.  He did not mince words when he said, �So, you want to follow me?  Glad to hear it.  But please understand that foxes have holes and birds have nests, but I have no place to rest my head.�[2]  We�ve turned Christianity into a Disney vacation, with all the perks of a five-star hotel suite.  Instead of living a life committed to serving Christ regardless of the cost, we view Christ as a cosmic Santa Claus who is loaded down with a bag of goodies to hand out to followers who play by the rules, that is, go to church, read their Bibles, and pray before meals.

Now, don�t get me wrong.  I�m all for attending church, reading Scripture, and praying, but to believe that this is what it means to be a follower of Jesus Christ is to miss the intent of the gospel.

I grew up in southern Wisconsin, and every summer brought with it a trip to Grandma�s house in Bridgeport, Alabama, a tiny town located in the northeastern part of the state.  My grandparents lived in a four-room house, large enough for just the two of them and also adequate for anyone who stopped by to spend a night or two.  I can remember sitting on Grandma�s couch and staring at a picture that my Great-Uncle Lonnie had made, the words of the 23^rd Psalm painted in calligraphy.  I stared at that painting for hours, trying to make sense out of something that surely had to have some meaning, but to me, made no sense whatsoever.  �The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.�[3]  I had been taught that God is a loving God who meticulously cares for each and every one of us.  The idea that King David wanted no part of this God left me bewildered.

See how easy it is to misinterpret the nature of God?  Granted, my confusion over Psalm 23 was the mistake of a child not understanding the proper usage of a word.  But I am not alone when it comes to misconceptions of God.  Two thousand years ago, Jews were considered atheists for their monotheistic beliefs.  The idea that one God could be entrusted with the entire world was preposterous.  While the Jews were waiting for the coming of the promised messiah to rescue and avenge them from Roman occupation, the rest of the empire held to a much-distorted, polytheistic belief system.

The story of Prometheus serves as the perfect illustration of the Greek thought that dominated the Roman Empire.  Prometheus was a god who allowed his emotions to get the best of him and began caring about humanity.  Because of this new-found compassion, Prometheus gave humans the gift of fire.  Zeus became so outraged over this act of kindness that he had Prometheus chained to a rock, where a vulture was sent to tear out his liver.  As if that wasn�t punishment enough, night after night Prometheus grew a new liver, only to have it ripped out again the next day.  Although the story seems barbaric to our way of thinking, to the Greek world, this was the norm.

The Greek view of the gods can be summed up by two different belief systems.  On the one hand, there were the Epicureans, who held that the end of life brought a measure of serenity.  The gods alone possessed the capacity to enjoy untroubled serenity to its fullest, and this could only be achieved if they remained undisturbed by the troubles of mankind.  Thus, to the Epicureans, the gods were oblivious to the existence of mankind.

On the other end of the spectrum were the Stoics, whose sole goal was to attain a life of perfect tranquility.  The road to perfect tranquility was through apathy, not in the popular sense of the word, that the gods don�t care about the affairs of mankind.  In this case, the word apathy is used to signify the lack of any and all emotions.  If gods were capable of experiencing emotions, so went the rationale, then that would open the door for the possibility that others could have undue influence over them.

In Epicureanism, humans were confronted with gods who weren't even aware of their existence. In Stoicism, humans were confronted with gods who, because they were gods, could not care.  It is difficult to say which of these two belief systems is worse, a god who doesn�t care or a god who can�t care.

It is at this point in history that God incarnates himself into the world, and how does he do it?  He goes out, finds a virgin, gets her pregnant, and enters the world as a bastard.  Now, as offensive as that may sound, just imagine the rumor mill in Nazareth.  There�s a big scandal in town.  Mary�s pregnant, and she and Joseph are only engaged.  After a couple of months, Mary begins to show.  People are talking, and her girlfriends take notice of her sudden weight gain.  Then comes the one decisive moment that changes Mary�s life forever, the day her friends and family discover her hidden secret.

What is she going to say?  �No, wait�let me tell you what really happened.�  I don�t think so.  If Mary keeps quiet, she becomes the butt of an endless stream of jokes.  If she tells the truth, she will be laughed out of town.  And where is God in all of this?  Once Jesus is born, God more or less keeps quiet for the next thirty years.  And then, when he does reveal himself, everything he says and does takes him one step closer to death by crucifixion.  That�s right: God shows up amidst a scandal, keeps quiet for thirty years, goes public for three years, and then gets himself crucified on a cross!

The Greeks had it wrong.  God does not hide himself from the world as the Epicureans taught.  Neither is he incapable of caring as the Stoics taught.  Quite the opposite�God does care.  Not only does he care, God purposely shares in the suffering of humanity.  In fact, that is the Good News that Jesus Christ brought to the world.  God cares!  And his caring takes him to the cross on our behalf.  God dies in order that we might live.

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